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Funny - click on "My computer"

An arabi officer
rings📞 the IT guy,
"My internet is not working properly."

IT guy:
"Ok
Double click on "My computer"

Arabi:
"I can't see ur computer💻"

IT guy :
"No no
click on "My computer" on ur computer."

Arabi:
"How can I click on ur computer from my computer?"

IT guy :
"Listen
There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on ur computer. Double click on it."

Arabi:
"What  the hell😡, what is your computer doing on my computer..?"

IT guy :
"Double click on ur computer."

Arabi:
"On which Icon i've to click?"

IT guy :
"My Computer"

Arabi:
"Walah habeebi......Mushkila
Tell me where is ur cabin. I'll come there and click on ur "Computer."😄

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How to Pay Attention - The most important Quality is Observation - Killer joke

Killer joke :

The Students of MBBS were attending their 1st Biochemistry Class. They all gathered around the Lab table with a Urine sample. The Professor dip His Finger in urine & tasted it in his own mouth. 
Then he asked the Students to do the same. The students hesitated for several minutes, but at last every one dipped their finger in urine sample & tasted it....
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them & said: The most important Quality is 'Observation'.  I dipped my MIDDLE Finger but tasted the INDEX Finger. Today you just Learn, "How to Pay Attention".  All Students shouted...
Sirrrrrrr   !!!😂😂😂

#HowtoPayAttention
#Killerjoke
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Irony of life - A temple is a very interesting place ....

Irony of life :
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Ultimate philosophy 👌👌
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Kendriya Vidyalaya (KVS) - Recruitment 2016-Principal & Teaching Posts

*Kendriya Vidyalaya (KVS) - Recruitment:*
__________________________

*KVS vacancy details:*

*Total posts: 6205*

*I. Principal: 90 Posts*

*II. Post Graduation Teacher (PGT)*: 690 Posts

1. English: 69 Posts
2. Hindi: 62 Posts
3. Physics: 68 Posts
4. Chemistry: 61 Posts
5. Economics: 48 Posts
6. Commerce: 96 Posts
7. Maths: 73 Posts
8. Biology: 66 Posts
9. History: 38 Posts
10. Geography: 31 Posts
11. Computer: 78 Posts

*III. Trained Graduation Teacher (TGT)*: 926 Posts

1. English: 90 Posts
2. Hindi: 116 Posts
3. Social Studies: 160 Posts
4. Science: 120 Posts
5. Sanskrit: 53 Posts
6. Maths: 126 Posts
7. P&HE: 67 Posts
8. AE: 120 Posts
9. WE: 74 Posts

*IV. Primary Teacher (PRT)*: 4499 Posts

1. PRT: 4348 Posts
2. PRT (Music): 151 Posts

*▫Age Limit (as on 31-10-2016)*:

*Post I*: 35-50 years.

*Post II*: Upper age limit is 40 years.

*Post III*: Upper age limit is 35 years ,

*Post IV*: Upper age limit is 30 years.

*Age relaxation is applicable as per rules*.

*▫Educational Qualification*:

*Post I*: Master Degree (any descipline) with atleast 45% marks, and B.Ed or equivalent. Experience in govt. schools or similar institutions is required for Principal posts (experience details will be updated shortly)

*Posts II*(1 to 10): Master Degree in relevant discipline with at least 50% marks, and B.Ed .

*Post II* (11): B.E or b.Tech (Computer Science/ IT) ORBE/B.Tech in any stream with post graduate diploma in computers OR M.Sc. (computers) OR MCA OR PG degree in any subject with PG diploma in computers OR B Level DOEACC with PG degree in any subject OR C level DOEACC with graduation in any subject.

*Posts III* (1 to 6): Bachelor Degree in relevant subject with atleast 50% marks, Pass in CTET Paper-II conducted by CBSE.

*Post III* (7): Bachelor Degree in Physical Education.

*Post III* (8): Diploma in Drawing & Painting/ Sculpture/ Graphic Art.

*Post III* (9): Degree in Electrical/ Electronics Engineering.

* Post IV* (1): 10+2 with 50% marks, Pass in CTET conducted by CBSE for

*Post IV* (2): 10+2 with atleast 50% marks/ Bachelor Degree in Music or equivalent for  with relevant experience.

*▫Selection Process*: written test & interview.

*▫Application Fee*: Rs. 1200/- for Post I, Rs.750/- for other posts through online mode. No fee for SC/ ST/ PH candidates.

*▫How to Apply*: Eligible candidates may apply online through the website *kvsangathan.nic.in*from 27-09-2016 at 09:00 hrs to 17-10-2016 up to 24:00 hrs.

👉🏼For syllabus of written test please visit KVS official website and see this notification under announcements section.

*▫Important Dates*:

» Start date to apply online: 27-09-2016 at 09:00 hrs.

» Last date for payment of fee in bank through E-Challan: 22-10-2016. (EXTENDED TO 24-10-2016)

» Last date to apply online: 17-10-2016 up to 24:00 hrs. (EXTENDED TO 20-10-2016)

» Tentative date of written test: Nov/ Dec-2016.

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The Modern Bride-Wedding speech of a girl to her in-laws

*Wedding speech of a girl to her in-laws:*

*"My dear New Family,*
*I thank u 4 welcoming me in this new house,*_ _
*First of all, I must tell you that my presence here should not change your Life Routine.*_
*Those who used to wash clothes must keep on doing it,*_
*Those who Cooked must keep Cooking,*_ _
*Those who Clean must keep Cleaning,*_ _
*I'll not disturb anybody's routine*_
*So far as I'm concerned, I'm here only to eat BUN,*_*have FUN & control your SON.*_
*Any questions?*
😂😂
*The Modern Bride!*
😛😝😜😬😁

Why go to church?-IF YOU CANNOT SEE GOD IN ALL, YOU CANNOT SEE GOD AT ALL

If you're spiritually alive, you're going to love this! If you're spiritually dead, you won't want to read it. If you're spiritually curious, there is still hope!  

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday.  
He wrote: "I've gone for 30 years now, and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons, but for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them.  So, I think I'm wasting my time,   the preachers and priests are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all".  
This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column.

Much to the delight of the editor, it went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:  

*"I've been married for 30 years now.  In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals.  But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this: They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work.  If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today.*

*Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!"*
  
*When you are DOWN to nothing, God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible &; receives the impossible!*
_  Thank God for our physical and our spiritual nourishment! _

  *IF YOU CANNOT SEE GOD IN ALL, YOU CANNOT SEE GOD AT ALL !*   

*B. I. B. L. E.* simply means: _Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth_!  

When you are about to forward this to others, the devil will discourage you.  

So go on! Forward this to people who are DEAR to you and TRUST GOD.

GOD BLESS YOU!!!.

Cool Message-Take me back to the old paths

Take me back to the old Paths, when Moms were at home.
Dads were at work.
Brothers went into the army.
And sisters got married BEFORE having  children!
Crime did not pay; Hard work did;
And people knew the difference.

Moms could cook; Dads would work;
Children would behave...
Husbands were loving; Wives were supportive; and children were polite.

Women wore the dresses; and Men wore the trousers.
Women looked like ladies;Men looked like gentlemen; and children looked decent.

People loved the truth, and hated a lie;
They came to church to get IN, Not to get OUT!

Hymns sounded Godly; Sermons sounded helpful;
Rejoicing sounded normal; and crying sounded sincere.
Cursing was wicked; Drinking was evil; and divorce was unthinkable.

We read the Bible in public; Prayed in school;
And preached from house to house.
To be called a Christian was worth living for;
To be called a traitor was a shame!

Sex was a personal word. Homosexual was an unheard of word, And abortion was an illegal word.

Preachers preached because they had a message; and
Christians rejoiced because they had the VICTORY!

Preachers preached from the Bible;
Singers sang from the heart;
Sinners turned to the Lord to be SAVED!

A new birth meant a new life; Salvation meant a changed life;
Following Christ led to eternal life.

Being a preacher meant you proclaimed the word of God;
Being a deacon meant you would serve the Lord;
Being a Christian meant you would live for Jesus;
And being a sinner meant someone was praying for you!

Laws were based on the Bible;
Homes read the Bible;
And churches taught the Bible.

Preachers were more interested in new converts than new clothes and new cars.

Church was where you found Christians on the Lord's day, rather than in the park,
on the creek bank, on the golf course, or being entertained somewhere else.

Give me that old time religion!
'Tis good enough for me!
I still like the "Old Paths" best! Jeremiah 6:16.
Copied.....

Please will you forward this to your generation maybe it will add meaning to someone's life as it did to me.
Pls save a soul today.

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Job-Exam-SSC CHSL 2016-Staff Selection Commission Combined Higher Secondary Level Examination

*+2 യോഗ്യതയിൽ കേന്ദ്ര സർക്കാരിൽ ഉന്നത ജോലികൾ.*

പ്രിയപ്പെട്ടവരേ,

💎 *സ്റ്റാഫ് സെലക്ഷൻ കമ്മീഷൻ 2016 വർഷത്തെ കംബൈൻഡ് ഹയർ സെക്കണ്ടറി ലെവൽ പരീക്ഷയ്ക്ക് അപേക്ഷ ക്ഷണിച്ചിരിക്കുകയാണ്.* *(SSC CHSL 2016)*

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💎 *വിദേശകാര്യ വകുപ്പ്, കേന്ദ്ര സെക്രെട്രിയേറ്റ്, സെൻട്രൽ വിജിലൻസ് വകുപ്പ്, സെൻട്രൽ എക്സൈസ്, സി ബി ഐ, തപാൽ  വകുപ്പ് തുടങ്ങി കേന്ദ്ര സർക്കാരിന്റെ വിവിധ വകുപ്പുകളിലേക്കാണ് തെരഞ്ഞടുപ്പ് നടത്തുന്നത്.*

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💎 ഓൺലൈൻ പരീക്ഷ വഴിയാണ് തെരെഞ്ഞെടുപ്പ് നടത്തുക. *(പത്താം ക്ലാസ് നിലവാരത്തിലുള്ള ചോദ്യങ്ങൾ പ്രതീക്ഷിക്കാം)*

💎 ഓൺലൈൻ വഴിയാണ് അപേക്ഷ സമർപ്പിക്കേണ്ടത്.

💎 *അപേക്ഷ സമർപ്പിക്കാനുള്ള അവസാന തിയ്യതി:* *നവംബർ 7 (07/11/2016)*

💎 *അപേക്ഷ സമർപ്പിക്കാനും കൂടുതൽ വിവരങ്ങൾക്കും താഴെ ഉള്ള ലിങ്കുകൾ ഏതെങ്കിലും  സന്ദർശിക്കുക.*

http://bit.ly/tv-CHSL

https://goo.gl/BMkulY

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💎 *പ്രൊമോഷൻ വഴി കേന്ദ്ര സർക്കാരിന്റെ ഉന്നത ജോലികളിൽ എത്തിച്ചേരാൻ സാധിക്കുന്ന അവസരമാണിത്.*

💎 ഈ സുവർണ്ണാവസരം ഒരു കാരണവശാലും നഷ്ടപ്പെടുത്തരുത്.

💎 *മലയാളികൾക്ക് പലർക്കും ഈ പരീക്ഷയെ കുറിച്ച് അറിവ് കുറവാണ്.*

💎 നമ്മുടെ കൂട്ടുകാരെ അപേക്ഷ കൊടുക്കാൻ പ്രോത്സാഹിപ്പിക്കുക.

*പരമാവധി കൂട്ടുകാർക്കും ഗ്രൂപ്പുകളിലും ഷെയർ ചെയ്യുക.* *നമ്മുടെ ഷെയർ സർക്കാർ ജോലി ആഗ്രഹിക്കുന്ന കൂട്ടുകാർക്ക് ഒരു സഹായമായേക്കാം*

Funny-Apollo Hospital Special

Terrific one.

😂😀Hospital Special 😀😂

A woman called up Apollo hospital and asked~
"I want to know if the patient Rita Mehta in Room No 1438 is getting better??"
.
The RMO replied,
"She is doing very well. She had her first solid meal today, her blood pressure is fine and if she continues improving she might even be sent home in a couple of days!"
.
The woman said,
"Thank God!
That's wonderful news!"

RMO:
" I take it you must be a family member or a close friend!"
.
Woman:
"No...no...
I am Rita Mehta. No one tells me anything here !"

🐒😂

#ApolloHospital
#Whatsappforward
#Funnywhatsappmessage

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Now confirmed rail tickets can be transferred to another person-Indian Railway

This is regarding transfer of confirmed rail ticket. Very good initiative by our Railway Minister Sri Suresh Prabhu.

1. A confirmed railway ticket can be transferred to your blood relations.

2. If a person is holding a confirmed ticket and is unable to travel, then the ticket can be transferred to his / her family members including father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, husband or wife.

3. For transfer of ticket, an application must be submitted atleast 24 hours in advance of the scheduled departure of the train to chief reservation supervisor with ID proof.

4. Government officials can transfer to other govt official.

5. Students can transfer ticket to other students.

Share this. It may help someone.

For Details access / visit to: -

http:/www.indianrail.gov.in/change_Name.html

Plz frwd to all.
🙏

#Usefulmessage
#Indianrailway

Sardar Joke-Malayalam-സർദാർ ബാങ്ക് കൊള്ളയടിക്കാൻ പോയി

സർദാർ ബാങ്ക് കൊള്ളയടിക്കാൻ പോയി പക്ഷെ തോക്ക് എടുക്കാൻ മറന്നു എങ്കിലും കൊള്ളയടിച്ചു എങ്ങിനെ?

ബാങ്ക് മാനേജറും സർദാർ ആയിരുന്നു.  അയാൾ പറഞ്ഞു എനിക്ക് നിങ്ങളെ വിശ്വാസമാണ്  തോക്ക് നാളെ കൊണ്ടുവന്ന് കാണിച്ചാൽ മതി....😀😀😀😀

#Sardarjoke
#Malayalamjoke
#Funnymessage

Sardar joke-Sardar and his wife went for counselling

Sardar & his wife went for counselling.
Wife had issues of neglect & loneliness.
Dr. got up hugged her tight & kissed her for 5 mintes &
said "This is what she needs thrice a week. Can you do it?"

Sardar - I can drop her on Monday & Wednesday but on Friday I have tablaa class...

😜😜😂😂😂

#Sardarjoke
#Sardarandwife

Inspiring story-Arthur Ashe, The Legendary Wimbledon Player was dying of AIDS

Something nice touched my heart

Inspiring story.. A Beautiful Message🌿

Arthur Ashe, The Legendary Wimbledon Player was dying of AIDS

which he got due to Infected Blood he received during a Heart Surgery in 1983!

He received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed:

"Why did God have to select you for such a bad disease??"

To this Arthur Ashe replied:

50 Million children started playing Tennis,

5 Million learnt to play Tennis,

500 000 learnt Professional Tennis,

50 Thousand came to Circuit,

5 Thousand reached Grandslam,

50 reached Wimbledon,

4 reached the Semifinals,

2 reached the Finals and

when I was holding the cup in my hand,

I never asked God
"Why Me?"

So now that I'm in pain how can I ask God "Why Me?"

Happiness keeps you Sweet!!

Trials keeps you Strong!!

Sorrows keeps you Human!!

Failure keeps you Humble!!

Success keeps you Glowing!!

But only,
Faith keeps you Going.

Sometimes you are
unsatisfied with your life,

while many people in
this world are dreaming
of living your life..

A child on a farm sees
a plane fly overhead &
dreams of flying.

But,
A pilot on the plane sees
the farmhouse & dreams
of returning home.

That's life!!
Enjoy yours...

If wealth is the secret to
happiness,

then the rich should be dancing on the streets.

But only poor kids
do that.

If power ensures security,
then VIPs should walk
unguarded.

But those who live simply, sleep soundly.

If beauty and fame bring
ideal relationships,

then celebrities should have the best marriages.

Live simply.
Walk humbly.
and love genuinely..!
Worth reading.

#Inspiringstory
#ArthurAshe
#LegendaryWimbledonPlayer
#AIDS
#PlayerswithAIDS

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